If you’ve been on social media, you’ve probably seen more than one influencer promoting “gentle parenting” as the latest trend in childrearing. Gentle parenting is supposed to improve empathy, respect, and the child/parent bond, but it often looks to outside observers as if parents are ceding control to their kids. What’s the right interpretation of this parenting method, and, more importantly, does it work? Keep reading to take a look at the goals and outcomes of this parenting style to see if it’s right for you.

What is gentle parenting?
Gentle parenting is a parenting style that aims to determine the root cause of a child’s behavior and use empathy to induce self-regulation as opposed to traditional parenting methods that use discipline or punishment to change a child’s unwanted behavior. Gentle parenting is supposed to focus on validating a child’s feelings, treating the child as an individual, involving the child in problem-solving, parental modeling of appropriate behavior, setting clear limits, and allowing natural consequences. Parents use emotional coaching techniques to redirect a child’s behavior and help him or her learn self-regulating skills.

In theory, this type of parenting sounds good. Who doesn’t want a child who is empathetic, who learns to self-regulate his behavior, who doesn’t need punishment, and who has a wonderful, loving relationship with his or her parent?

Does it work?
In practice, this style of parenting does not always work. It can also add a lot of stress on parents because of the amount of time and effort it takes to implement. And the pressure from influencers who make the process appear easy can make parents who are struggling feel like failures.

Furthermore, it’s important to remember that empathy doesn’t fix everything. And how often does rationalizing with toddlers work? If an action is inherently wrong, will talking about it create a change in behavior? Toddlers don’t always have the capacity to understand why a behavior is undesirable and how to self-regulate.

Also: kids are going to be kids, and that means they will sometimes engage in undesirable behaviors just to test limits. Gentle parenting techniques are unlikely to work in these situations.

When Gentle Parenting Fails
There are no scientific studies showing that gentle parenting works as well as – much less better than – traditional styles of parenting. However, there are definite concerns when parents focus on feelings over responsibility. If not balanced with clear consequences for misbehavior, gentle parenting can turn into permissive parenting, resulting in

• Poor boundaries
• Poor emotional regulation
• Entitlement, making it hard for a child to adapt to the real world
• Lack of respect for authority, including increased defiance and aggression
• Lack of moral development with no empathy for others
• Lack of resilience resulting in children who struggle with criticism and failure because their feelings have constantly been validated so they can’t handle discomfort
• Lack of consequences and lack of awareness of the real consequences of their actions
• Significant parent burnout as gentle parenting is hard to implement consistently and in public

Parenting experts remind parents it is possible to have a close connection with your children and also impose consequences for inappropriate behavior. Now, let’s take a look at discipline from a biblical perspective.

Consider the following Bible passages:
Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV) - “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Hebrews 12:4-11 (NIV) - “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.’ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Dr. James Emery White points out that gentle parenting rejects the idea that kids are inherently bad. As Christians we know that all of us – kids included – have a level of willful disobedience. We all need instruction and correction to help us grow.

Children are to obey and honor their parents, and parents are to bring up their children with love and discipline. It is possible to be gentle as parents and to discipline. The verses above remind us God is gentle with us but He disciplines us because He loves us. We should do the same with our children. Parents should also remember that discipline is not the same thing as punishment. Discipline teaches; punishment does not. Discipline is inherent within any healthy loving and good parent/child relationship.

Discipline should have two goals: authority and character formation.
The Royal Society of Medicine in the UK conducted a study that shows teens who have a lack of respect for authority (a potential side effect of poorly implemented gentle parenting) have increased risks of depression, teen pregnancies, obesity, and violence toward authority. When we empower kids without discipline, we increase the risk for the children to become violent.

Discipline should shape a child’s character as well as his or her behavior. When applied correctly, discipline should direct, lead, form, and mold a child’s inner world. Well-disciplined children are more likely to honor and respect authority.

Should You Try Gentle Parenting?
Parenting needs, styles, and techniques change as children grow. Each new stage and scenario your child faces will test you. And sometimes kids do things on purpose to test their boundaries and yours. Furthermore, discipline techniques that work with one child or in one situation may not work with his or her sibling or in another situation. It’s important to remember that there is no one size fits all discipline method.  And it’s equally important to remember that friends, family – and especially social media influencers – shouldn’t make you feel guilty about finding and implementing the parenting style that is right for each child in your family. Will you mess up? Most likely; we all do. We just remember to discipline in love, humility, and the desire to honor God and raise godly children and adjust as needed.

About One by One
One by One provides volunteer mentors to serve pregnant and new moms. Mentors teach moms strategies to support babies’ growth in language, emotional, social, and motor skill development through their first few years. Mentors meet monthly with moms, sharing strategies appropriate for the child’s current age. Our monthly curriculum also includes lessons what discipline means and how and when to implement appropriate disciplinary techniques.

If you or someone you know is pregnant or a new mom, you can request a One by One mentor by clicking here. Your mentor will meet with you each month in-person or virtually throughout your pregnancy and your child’s early years providing friendship, support, and education as you learn to parent well. There is no charge to participate in our program.

Facebook may be the “old” social media, but Facebook groups still have an impact.

Shawn learned about One by One when someone in one of her Facebook groups posted that OBO was seeking military wives to mentor other military moms. She says this opportunity spoke to her in several ways. “My husband separated from active duty more than 20 years ago after we were at our seventh duty station. Over those years, I was active in our spouses’ groups, lived on and off base, and had twins during one of his deployments. We have had many family members serve in almost every military branch. Also, our youngest daughter became a teen mom and wife, so we were newly experienced in how recommendations for pregnancy and caring for a baby have changed since I had my children. I prayed about it and truly felt God was leading me to provide support to a mom who maybe didn’t have a parent or adult figure who could give her the emotional support needed or who might not understand the challenges of being a military spouse – the constant worry for your spouse’s safety, the secrecy to protect your service member when outside the US, government shutdowns stopping payroll, having all aspects being under the service member vs. you as an individual, etc.”

So Shawn, who lives in Mississippi, signed up for mentor training. She says OBO has been there both before and after training to answer questions, provide guidance with perspective, and to pray. Training also helped prepare her for good and bad situations she might encounter as a mentor, how to cope with frustrations, and how to celebrate joyous moments. “As mentors, we are vulnerable because we want to help those in need. We want to share our experiences, and we empathize with our mentees’ situations. We also want to share our testimonies, how God has been with us all along our journeys, even when we strayed, and how Jesus is eagerly waiting for moms to call Him into their lives.”

Shawn is mentoring a mom in Texas. She says as a military spouse it’s hard to meet in-person with mentees, so she’s thankful OBO’s virtual program allows mentors to serve moms who also have similar limitations. She also feels that the virtual program eases the anxiety some young moms may feel about meeting in-person. She loves that the virtual program allows for more impromptu, frequent contacts. “With my mom, my favorite FaceTimes included her child. I got to see how much both had developed over the previous month, how mom interacted with the baby, and to share in mom’s excitement as she showed off her redesigned nursery.”

Shawns shares her favorite Bible verse was in OBO’s Mentor Guide – in the sixth month visit lesson plan. “Our Lord, You keep Your word and do everything You say.” Shawn says this verse has two meanings for her: “First, God is always consistent, dependable, and does not falter. No matter the situation, how ‘bad’ you are or how distant you are from Him, His word is still the same. Second, as a parent, this is how you need to be for your child. Strive to be a parent who is choosy with the words you say because every word has meaning to a new human being who does not understand hidden meanings, sarcasm, angry words, etc. Give yourself and your child grace (not excuses) as you figure out how to follow God’s example. This is probably the hardest job as a parent, requiring the most prayer for discernment and guidance during the course of a day.”

One by One's virtual mentoring program serves pregnant and new moms anywhere in the US. Moms can apply for a mentor here. Christian women interested in becoming a mentor - either in-person or virtually can apply here.

Vicki heard about One by One at her church, Advent Presbyterian, in Memphis. The speaker that day shared how God uses people who feel inadequate. She also emphasized that it only takes an hour a month to mentor a single mom through One by One’s program.
Vicki thought, “Now that’s something I can do! In the career world I was a teacher, so I have always felt like I need to make a difference.”

Vicki completed mentor training and met her OBO mom Ruth a few months before she gave birth to her first baby. Vicki remembers, “From the time I met her, I was impressed with how thankful she was for everything I told her. She was like a sponge. She was a little different from most OBO moms because she was from Ghana and was married. She and her husband wanted to be part of OBO to have an adequate support system since they were new to the United States.”

Vicki says one of the most valuable pieces of training was hearing that mentors should remember their job is to plant a seed; it’s God’s job to do the rest. She says remembering that is sometimes the most challenging part of being a mentor!

Vicki says it’s been a joy to guide Ruth and her husband on their journey in the US. She has been able to help them with practical things such as getting a refund from their landlord. “One thing I love about being a mentor is feeling like the lessons I share and the prayers we pray make a difference.”

Vicki says her mentoring relationship with Ruth has blossomed into a beautiful friendship. “Ruth’s husband has become ordained, and he is marrying my fiancé and me. They have also asked us to be godparents of their newest baby. Being a mentor has truly blessed me as I see their love grow for each other and the Lord.”

If you are a pregnant or new mom looking for support, apply for a One by One mentor here.

Julie heard about One by One on the radio in Dallas, TX. As someone who loves babies and who has a heart for volunteering, mentoring, and encouraging others, she felt OBO would be a great organization to volunteer with.

We matched her with Asiya, a pregnant mom who did not live close by and who worked unpredictable hours. She didn’t have any family support and was experiencing a difficult pregnancy with severe morning sickness. Despite the hardships, she and Julie met regularly, even if that meant their meetings turned into phone calls or FaceTime meetings when they couldn’t get together in person.

Julie said she was able to encourage her mom – and remind her how excited she was when she found out she was pregnant – during the rough patches. She also prayed for and encouraged her to fight through the difficulties. She is grateful OBO staff was there to pray alongside her.

Julie visited her mom in the hospital when she delivered her beautiful baby girl. Her dad was the only family member who was with her, so Julie was thankful to be able to be there to support her. She has enjoyed her relationship with her mom and loves visiting with her and her sweet baby.

If you're a pregnant or new mom looking for support, apply for a One by One mentor today! Your mentor will provide friendship, support, parenting education, and new baby information to help you parent well. Click here to apply for a mentor.

If you're a Christian woman who loves babies and loves Jesus, consider becoming a mentor with One by One. We give you everything you need to mentor a new mom. Apply here.

Hannah didn’t think she was able to have children. She had been trying to get pregnant when she finally got a positive test. Then she got worried.

As a first-time mom, she became nervous. She was new to her city and didn’t have family or any other support system to help her out or provide any guidance. When she visited her local pregnancy center to confirm her pregnancy, the ultrasound tech told her about One by One.

One by One matched Hannah with Lauren shortly after Hannah confirmed her pregnancy. Hannah says, “I didn’t really know what OBO was, and I was a little hesitant because I didn’t really understand everything OBO could offer. But Lauren has been so kind and a huge help! She really is a great support system. She answers any question I have – and there are a lot! I didn’t really have a mother figure in my life, and Lauren has been like a big sister to me. She helps me learn to do things I had no idea about.”

Hannah has had her son, and he is doing great. “He’s just beautiful and has grown so much in just a month!” She says she can’t wait until he can talk to hear how he sounds. She is grateful for all Lauren and One by One have done for her. “Everyone says being a mom comes easy and it does – I was so nervous at first but it’s all good now.”

Are you a pregnant or new mom looking for a support system - or just a friend who will listen and answer your questions? You can apply for a OBO mentor here.

Deanna heard about One by One from her sister who is a mentor in San Antonio, TX. She loved the idea of volunteering with OBO but worried because she travels a lot for work. When she heard of OBO’s virtual program, she immediately completed her mentor application.

One by One matched her quickly with a mom. “She has been so AWESOME! She always does her work and is engaged and enthusiastic about our meetings. She is a delight to meet with.”

Deanna feels that although her mom had many skills to help her be a successful mom, she was able to answer a lot of practical questions about things like car seats and teething remedies. She has loved getting to know her mom and watch her baby grow.

Deanna suggests anyone who is considering mentoring to use OBO’s training as a guide, stay engaged, and enjoy the process of getting to know and help your mom. She adds, “I love getting photos and hearing of the growth of her baby girl. She thrives as a mom. She is doing an amazing job as a first-time mom, and she should be applauded.”

Pregnant and new moms from anywhere in the US can apply for an OBO mentor here. OBO is looking for Christian women across the US willing to serve as in-person or virtual mentors. Interested? Email Elizabeth.

Ana, a native of Argentina, heard about One by One through Harvest Church in Memphis. She and her husband are active in the Hispanic ministry at Harvest, and she was excited to learn about One by One’s ministry to Hispanic moms.

One by One matched Ana with Veronica, and they bonded quickly. Veronica’s mom invited Ana to attend Veronica’s baby shower, and they all had a wonderful time. Ana says, “I’ve been walking with Veronica a lot lately. Friends of mine have given her needed items for the baby, and she’s received some donations to help furnish her house. I’ve been able to see her more often than usual, and that’s a tremendous joy for me!”

Ana was also able to accompany Veronica on one of her last doctor’s appointments and to join her at the hospital while waiting for her baby to be born. “It was such a great honor that she asked me to be in the delivery room with her! In the hospital waiting room we were praying and trusting in the Lord that Veronica and her baby are in His mighty hands.”

Veronica delivered a beautiful baby boy, and mom and baby are doing well! Ana is looking forward to continuing to meet with Veronica and to get to know her sweet baby.

Any pregnant or new Hispanic mom can request a Spanish-speaking One by One mentor by applying here. We need Spanish-speaking women willing to mentor new moms in-person or virtually. Interested? Email Ana.

Alicia attended a girls’ night at her home church, Harrisburg Baptist, in Tupelo, MS, and heard about One by One. “I knew mentorships were needed in my community. I read the One by One brochure and was instantly intrigued. I am a young mom myself, and I understood what it was like to need someone to just be there, and I knew mentoring with One by One was something I had to do.”

One by One matched Alicia with Mariah. Although Alicia was excited, she was a little worried about mentoring. “I felt sometimes like I wouldn’t be enough or wouldn’t be able to be a good mentor. I wasn’t sure I had enough experience as a mom to help another mom. Then I realized my main challenge was overcoming myself – and letting God work through us.”

Alicia said she and Mariah have had great conversations – and difficult conversations. She feels staying true to herself has allowed Mariah to be open and truthful with her about things she would experience. She says they have talked at least once a week since the moment they met. “I feel living my truth allows her to see what life can be. Being honest with her and letting her know she’s not alone has been helpful for her. She is able to talk to me about anything, and I don’t judge her for any of her decisions.”

Alicia has enjoyed being a mentor to Mariah. “It’s been a joy watching her grow into a beautiful mother – and now a wife! I was honored to attend her marriage ceremony, and it was an amazing moment. She’s grown as an individual as well. I enjoy being a part of her life and of her baby’s life. She’s done so well taking care of her baby. It hasn’t been easy, and there have been obstacles, but she tries daily to overcome any challenge she faces. I’m so proud to be her mentor.”

Alicia says one of her favorite moments with Mariah was when she asked for help finding a church to go to. “I was so excited for her. It was a joy watching her get excited about church and learning more about Christ. I thought it wasn’t going to happen, but she’s on her own time.”

Alicia encourages others to consider becoming a mentor. “If God leads you to do it, please do it. It will benefit you in ways that can’t be explained. All mentees are not easy, all are not as open, but there are some who want/need it just as much as you do. I needed to be a mentor to realize and understand how God works through me. I’m not perfect at all, but I can still be a vessel.”

Any new mom or mom of a young child can request a mentor by clicking here. Any Christian woman interested in becoming a mentor can apply here. Questions? Call toll-free 833.777.1157.

Anavile helped to raise her three younger siblings, so she had knowledge and experience of caring for babies. But when she became pregnant, she lacked the confidence she craved to say she knew what she should do for her baby. She heard about One by One from AWC Centers and a friend and decided to give us a call.

One by One matched Anavile with Kate who was inspired to become a mentor after meeting One by One’s San Antonio director. “I just fell in love with what One by One was doing and felt inspired because she was so passionate about what she does.”

Kate says when she first met Anavile the two talked non-stop for two hours. She says they were so blessed to connect immediately. Anavile felt the same, calling Kate her “adult other half.” They got along so well that they both said at the first meeting that “we’re stuck with each other now!”

Anavile is happy to have Kate’s mentoring support. “I can be stubborn, hard headed, and have a lot of pride, but I know when it comes down to certain things like having a kid – I have knowledge and experience because I had to raise three siblings – but that’s not enough information or guidance to say ‘I’ve got this.’ It’s been great to have a mentor who’s been able to confirm I’m doing some things right and to show me other ways to do things.”

Kate says God has used her to generate hope for Anavile. “Through Him and through prayer, I’ve been able to take some of her burden away, to help her feel empowered, and to help her know that she is equipped to get through this. I remind her God picked her to be her baby’s mom; with God she has all she needs to raise him.”

Anavile has strong praise for One by One. “To other moms – if you’re thinking of signing up, just know that you’re signing up for success by reaching out and asking for help with this program. Jump in. Take that step forward, and just jump in.”

Kate also encourages potential mentors to dive in. “Ask questions. Don’t doubt if you’re capable or experienced enough or if you have the ‘right’ background. If you’re a mom, aunt, Christian and feel a call on your heart, just answer it. To step in and walk alongside someone is a blessing. Mentoring Anavile has been a complete blessing to me and my family, my daughters, and my Bible study group. I get as much if not more out of the program than she does.”

Pregnant and new moms can click here to request a mentor from One by One. Christian women interested in becoming a mentor can learn more or apply by clicking here. Questions? Email us or call 833.777.1153.

Lakitra was at a gas station when someone told her about One by One, sharing that OBO is a loving community that provides mentors to help moms of newborns and that the mentors will be with moms every step of the way. Lakitra was hesitant but decided to call OBO and check it out.

While Lakitra was waiting to be matched with a mentor, One by One invited her to attend the annual Christmas Mom Blessing Day. Lakitra recalls, “I was greeted with all the love and caring people.” She met Jenni, who served as her escort and guide at the event.

Jenni had heard about One by One through her church and volunteered to help at OBO’s Christmas Blessing Day. Lakitra was the first mom Jenni met. “God just put her on my heart. I knew I wanted to walk alongside Lakitra, so I went to One by One’s website and filled out the application to become a mentor. I had the option to train in-person or online, and they gave me all the tools I could possibly need.”

When OBO matched Lakitra and Jenni, Lakitra was pregnant with her 8th child. Jenni says “She had just become a single mom, was struggling, and didn’t know the Lord. My relationship with her is one of the most special relationships in my life.”

Lakitra loves having Jenni as her mentor. “She’s very caring. She loves us genuinely: there’s nothing fake about our relationship. I thank God for her entering me and my kids’ lives – from the love and support to just being there with us. It makes me and my kids happy.”

Jenni and Lakitra usually meet at Lakitra’s home. Lakitra says, “We read the Bible. We pray. I talk to her about what I’m going through or what I might be struggling with. We work on a baby book – talk about baby health and safety, the do’s and don’ts and lists of what the baby has to have.”

Jenni says One by One’s curriculum makes it easy to mentor a new mom. “The program materials are amazing. There are the first and second year programs which go from pregnancy up to 24 months. There’s the discipleship program. It’s so well done that you can spend your time not worrying about what you’re going to say but instead what your mom needs.”

Lakitra adds, “Right away Jenni started talking to me about the Lord. She gave me a Bible which was so special because it had my name on it.”

Jenni and Lakitra had completed OBO’s Year 1 program and were close to finishing the Year 2 program. Jenni says, “During that time, praise the Lord, Lakitra gave her life to Christ. She prayed a beautiful prayer asking the Lord to be her Savior. It was just amazing, and we decided to move into OBO’s Discipleship program.”

Lakitra says, “I just want to be put back together. I want to be whole again, so I surrendered my life to Christ. I’ve grown in my faith a lot. I’m praying more. We read the Bible together. So far I’m loving it. Jenni has my back. She says God is with me at all times – to never give up and to stay strong.”

Jenni says the Lord has drawn her closer to Him since she has become an OBO mentor. “It’s not me that has saving power or encouraging power or can do anything. It’s all by the name of Jesus. My role is to keep showing up on my knees and to keep showing up for Lakitra, and what a gift that is.”

Lakitra says while she loves waking up each day to see her kids’ little faces, she still has struggles. “I have times where I want to give up with what I’m going through, but my hope continues to grow with Christ. I want my relationship stronger with God. My dream is to go to school and get a degree to become a medical assistant.”

Jenni says you can tell how much Lakitra loves her children. “She’s a wonderful mom. I just love her kids; they’re so healthy and happy. And I get so many hugs when I see them!”
Jenni encourages anyone considering mentoring with OBO to do it. “If you’re on the fence about mentoring, don’t be fearful. First, the Lord says not to be fearful. Second, OBO is such an incredible ministry. You get so much support. And the connection you get with your mom is incredible: you can’t buy it; you can’t ask for any better gift. Just go for it!”

Lakitra says Jenni is like a second mother to her children and it means so much to her to see their relationships. “At first, I was hesitant about getting a mentor, but being able to have somebody support you and love you unconditionally like God does is amazing. If you’re thinking about it, go for it. You won’t regret it.”

Any pregnant or new mom can request a mentor at www.onebyoneformoms.org. Any Christian women interested in becoming a One by One mentor can apply at www.onebyoneusa.org. Questions? Email admin@onebyoneusa.org or call 833.777.1153.

When Brianna first learned she was pregnant, there was a time she didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy. She was scared. She had no family support. She didn’t know what to do. Her sister had heard of One by One and told her to give us a call.

One by One matched Brianna with June. Brianna credits her relationship with June for putting her in the right place with God, refocusing her faith, and improving her relationship with God, which she says is so much stronger now.

Brianna and June have been together three years – completing our Year 1 and Year 2 programs and moving into our Discipleship program. Brianna now says she is so glad she didn’t go through with her first decision when she had no one to help her. “I am so grateful to have had June by my side. She has helped me overcome so many obstacles and helped with everything I was worried about.”

June says Brianna is an amazing mom. “I just continue to reminder Brianna she is more than enough. She is priceless, and she needs to remember God loves her more than she can imagine.” June also reminds Brianna that God will reveal everything she needs to know if she continues to keep reading God’s word and praying.

Brianna encourages others who may be considering terminating their pregnancies not to think that is their only option. “You have more help than you realize. It’s not just a mentor. One by One helps with everything. Your mentor is there for you and can help you get some things you need. This program really did save a life. Now I can’t imagine my life without my kids. I’m so blessed to have my mentor and this program.”

Any pregnant or new mom can apply for a mentor at www.onebyoneformoms.org. Each mentor and mom meets monthly throughout the mom’s pregnancy and her child’s early years. Mentors provide friendship, support, parenting education, baby growth and development information, access to resources, and the love and hope of Jesus. Mentors cannot provide financial assistance, transportation, or babysitting.

Angel heard about One by One from Life Choices in Columbus, MS. She said that as a young mother she was looking for guidance in her life. “I started growing closer to God, so I felt having a God-fearing mentor was the next step.”

Stacy heard about OBO from her church, Fairview Baptist, and felt she could offer a new mom guidance from a Christian perspective.

As much as Angel wanted a mentor, she was concerned about being able to participate because she did not have a car. But her oldest brother stepped in and made sure that she saw her mentor for each meeting. Angel says, “My mentor provided a safe place. She has always been there for me and my son and has been everything I needed: mother, friend, and mentor. And I enjoyed the prayers.”

Stacy says Angel was open to their mentoring relationship “from the word ‘go.’” Being a mentor challenged Stacy to get out of her comfort zone a bit, but she enjoyed “pouring helpful things into a deserving mom.” Stacy adds that she loved seeing Angel grow in her spiritual life and her decision making. She says Angel truly desires to follow God’s plan for her.

One by One was also able to help Angel in an incredibly practical way. One by One partners with Midsouth Hope Garage, a nonprofit that repairs donated vehicles and gifts them to vulnerable families to improve their quality of life. One by One nominated Angel to receive a car, and Midsouth Hope Garage provided a vehicle for Angel. She says, “Being gifted a car helps me go to work so I can provide for my son and myself. I am able to help my family as well be able to get where they need to go. My family and I are able to attend church together. I am just so thankful for everything!”

Although Stacy and Angel have completed their One by One mentorship, they still stay in touch. Stacy says they built a lifelong relationship and they text, talk, and meet every couple of months for coffee. “She’s very good at keeping me informed about what’s going on with her.”

Angel adds, “She has become another mom for me. Anything big or little I always go to let her know. We meet when life is not so busy, but we always message each other.”

If you are a pregnant or new mom, you can apply for a One by One mentor today by clicking here. Your mentor will meet with you monthly throughout your pregnancy and your child's early years, providing friendship and support; teaching baby health, safety, growth, and development information; sharing parenting strategies, demonstrating the love of Christ, and providing access to additional resources. 

Welcome to part 3 of our blog series on the benefits of breast feeding. If you’re new, you can check out the health benefits your baby receives from breastmilk and the health benefits you receive as a nursing mom here. If you’re still with us, you’ve likely decided to give nursing a try. Congratulations! We’re going to take a look at how you can safely pump, store, and reheat breast milk so you have flexibility at work, running errands, enjoying date night, or even taking a weekend away.

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), if you follow the guidelines below, you should be able to pump and feed your baby a bottle of breastmilk at a later time.

Prepping:
Before you start, make sure you wash your hands and clean your pump. Use milk storage bags or clean food-grade containers made of glass or plastic with tightly fitting lids. Avoid disposable bottle liners or bags not intended for breastmilk. These may work for prepared formula, but if they’re not rated safe for breastmilk, it’s best to stay away from them.

Storing Breast Milk:
Your freshly pumped milk is safe at room temperature (77 degrees or cooler) for up to four hours. Milk is safe in the refrigerator for up to four days and in the freezer for six to 12 months (six is preferable, but 12 is acceptable).

As you prepare to store your milk, make sure to add a label with the date you pumped the milk. If you don’t plan on using the milk within four days, go ahead and freeze it immediately. Store in two to four-ounce bags to avoid waste, and leave an inch at the top of the container to allow for expansion when milk freezes. Avoid storing milk in the door of the refrigerator or freezer. It is generally safe to store breastmilk in an insulated cooler on ice packs up to 24 hours if you are traveling.

Note: If you’re taking stored breastmilk to daycare, church childcare, etc., make sure to label the container clearly with your child’s name. Also make sure they center has appropriate storage to keep the milk safe.

Thawing and Serving Pumped Breast Milk:
Make sure to use the oldest milk you have first. To thaw, you can put the milk from the freezer into the refrigerator overnight. You can feed your baby with room temperature, cold, or slightly warm milk. You can also soak your container of milk in lukewarm water or run it under lukewarm water. Avoid the temptation to microwave frozen or refrigerated breast milk! Microwaving will destroy nutrients and can create hot spots that can burn your baby. You also want to avoid heating milk on the stove. You can test the temperature by dropping a couple of drops on the inside of your wrist.

Once thawed, use the warmed milk within two hours. (Definitely avoid refreezing milk that has already been thawed.) Gently swirl the milk in the bottle if the fat has separated.

We hope this blog series has been helpful in sharing the many benefits of nursing your baby. Remember, though, the choice to breastfeed exclusively, supplement with formula, or formula-feed exclusively is yours.  

At One by One, our mentors share baby health, safety growth, and development information with moms looking for support. Each mom and mentor meet monthly throughout the mom’s pregnancy and her baby’s early years. If you're a pregnant or new mom who would like the support of a OBO mentor, you can request a mentor here.

Welcome to part two of our three-part blog series on the benefits of breastfeeding. In our last blog, we touched on the benefits of breastfeeding over formula in terms of cost, convenience, and nutrition, and we reviewed a long list of health benefits babies get when they breastfeed. In this blog, we’re going to explore the benefits moms receive when they nurse their children.

Did you know that moms actually receive health benefits - for the short and long-term - when they nurse their babies? According to the Cleveland Clinic moms who breastfeed have a reduced risk of:

• postpartum depression*
• (reduced future risk of) breast, ovarian, endometrial, and thyroid cancers
• osteoporosis
• cardiovascular disease
• high blood pressure
• high cholesterol

The Cleveland Clinic adds that moms who breastfeed for a year have an even lower risk of developing breast or ovarian cancer, high blood pressure, or Type 2 diabetes.

If that list isn’t compelling, Johns Hopkins adds the following benefits to moms. Breastfeeding

• relaxes moms
• reduces the stress of birth
• helps increase milk production
• makes feedings easier
• empowers moms

Breastfeeding also

• helps mom and baby bond – physically and emotionally; some research suggests breastfeeding may reduce social and behavioral problems in childhood and in adulthood.
• speeds recovery from child birth by releasing oxytocin which helps the uterus contract and return to its normal size and helps to reduce vaginal bleeding.
• establishes trust: moms learn their babies’ cues so they are better able to respond to their babies’ needs, and babies learn to trust their moms as their caregivers.
• is convenient: there are no bottles to sterilize, wash, prepare.
• is cheaper: you will likely need to purchase a nursing bra and nipple cream (and a pump if you plan on pumping and storing breastmilk), but formula can cost $1500-$2000 a year – or more if you need specialized formula for your child.
• may help you lose weight and return to your post-baby body more quickly. Breastfeeding burns a lot of calories, so it may help you lose your baby weight. However, moms need to consider a number of other factors such as how much they’re eating overall, their activity levels, and their sleep (which, let’s face it, likely won’t be great with a newborn). All of these factors come in to play as you try to lose your baby weight and regain your pre-pregnancy body. 

Isn’t it great to learn that you and your baby both can benefit when you breastfeed?! We should reiterate that breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding is YOUR choice. You should do what works best for you and your baby to give her the love, nutrition, and support – physically and emotionally – she needs to thrive.

If you’re a breastfeeding mom who is interested in pumping and storing breastmilk for later use, be sure to read our next blog on the proper methods of storing and using pumped breastmilk.

*Postpartum depression is real and can happen to any mom. It can range from a mild case of baby blues to rare, but serious, cases of postpartum psychosis. If you’re experiencing any signs of depression, be sure to talk with your doctor to get the help you may need. To learn more, read our blog on postpartum depression here.

One by One provides  mentors to walk alongside pregnant and new moms to provide support, encouragement, parenting education, and baby health, safety, growth, and development information. If you are a pregnant or new mom looking for support, you can request a mentor here.

As more Americans are making budget-conscious and health-conscious purchasing decisions, many new moms may be considering costs, convenience, and nutritional value as they decide between breastfeeding their babies or bottle-feeding with formula. There are many reasons why a mom may choose breastmilk over formula – or vice versa. But moms need to know this: you should choose the option that works best for YOU. If you’re able to do either, keep reading to learn how breastfeeding your child can affect his or her health not only as a newborn but also potentially into adulthood.

The Costs:
Moms who formula feed exclusively should expect to pay around $1500-$2000 a year for basic formula plus bottles, nipples, bags, etc. (Those costs will be higher if you need hypoallergenic or specialty formula.) With the cost of formula rising – along with recent potential safety concerns and shortages of baby formula – moms may be leaning toward breastfeeding their babies. And, according to the Cleveland Clinic, breastfeeding has a number of important health benefits for babies.

The Benefits:
Did you know that breast milk provides all of the nutrients a baby needs to grow and develop? And the composition of your breast milk adapts with your baby’s changing needs as he grows! Your breastmilk

• is easier for your baby’s immature tummy to digest.
• has antibodies that support your baby’s immune system and help to protect her against infection.
• has the right combination of protein, fat, sugar, water, vitamins, and minerals for his development and adapts to his growing needs.
• promotes healthy weight gain.
• contains substances to soothe your baby naturally.

The Cleveland Clinic also says breastfed babies are healthier in general with fewer pediatrician visits and/or hospitalizations. In fact, breastfeeding may reduce the risk of the following conditions:

• diarrhea, vomiting, constipation, and necrotizing enterocolitis (which can happen in premature babies)
• pneumonia, RSV, and whooping cough
• ear infections
• bacterial meningitis
• asthma
• SIDS
• childhood obesity
• eczema
• childhood leukemia
• cavities
• celiac disease and inflammatory bowel disease
• and even Type 2 diabetes later in life

Johns Hopkins adds that the skin-to-skin contact moms and babies have when breastfeeding benefits babies by

• calming them
• keeping them warm
• stabilizing their blood sugar, heart rates, and breathing
• promoting brain development

Some studies suggest breastfed babies have higher intelligence scores, but other organizations argue studies have not confirmed that breastfed babies are smarter than their formula-fed counterparts. Studies do agree, however, that breastfeeding has a positive long-term effect on brain and behavioral development.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists further adds that premies who are breastfed have a lesser risk of many short and long-term health problems.

So – I’m convinced to try breastfeeding. How long should I do it?

Current guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatricians and the World Health Association recommend that moms try to breastfeed exclusively for six months. Then, as you begin to introduce solid foods, continue to supplement with breastmilk for up to one or even two years. Johns Hopkins points out that, unless you have a medical issue, your baby does not need any other food than breastmilk in his first six months.

Of course, maintaining a breastfeeding schedule is easier if you are a stay-at-home mom or on maternity leave from your job. Some moms find it challenging to continue breastfeeding when they return to the workforce – especially if they do not have break times of private areas to pump and store breastmilk. If you find you need to stop breastfeeding exclusively before the recommended six months, know that

• 3 months of breastfeeding lowers your baby’s risk of stomach flu, diarrhea, and ear infections in his first year.
• 4 months of breastfeeding reduces the risk of hospitalization for RSV and other respiratory infections.
• 6 months of breastfeeding reduces the risk of childhood cancer.

So your baby can experience many health benefits of breastmilk even if you aren’t able to breastfeed exclusively for six months or longer.

We also want to stress this: It is absolutely ok if you pump and then bottle feed your baby with breast milk, especially if you’re exclusively using breast milk. Your baby will get all of the nutritional and health benefits from the milk – and from the bonding if you are cuddling your baby as you would if she were nursing.

I’ve tried – really – but I can’t breastfeed. What do I do now?

Unfortunately, some moms just can’t breastfeed their babies. Mom or baby may have health or other issues such as low milk supply, severe latching issues, and more that prevent nursing – or prevent exclusive nursing. If that is your situation, you may want to talk with a lactation consultant who may be able to help. Your doctor can also recommend the best type of formula for you to give your baby.  Your doctor may also be able to recommend a credible breast milk bank where you can get donated breast milk to feed your child. (Note: Do NOT buy breast milk online or from individual sellers!)

So breastmilk contains amazing health benefits and protections for your child. It’s less expensive than formula. It’s more convenient when you’re at home or out and about with your child (you can always take a drape if you’re uncomfortable nursing in public). But, it may be harder to continue to breastfeed if you’re working, and you may have to plan ahead to pump if you’re planning for a night out or a weekend away. The bottom line is this: you should do what works best for you, your baby, and your situation. As long as you’re loving your child and providing him with the nourishment – physically and emotionally – that he needs, it will be ok.

This is the first in a 3-part series on breastfeeding. Join us for part two where we’ll examine how breastfeeding benefits moms and in part three where will look at how to properly store pumped milk for later use.

One by One provides mentors to pregnant and new moms looking for support. Mentors provide friendship and support, parenting strategies, and baby growth, development, health, and safety information. Click here if you'd like to request a One by One mentor.

Sometimes life gets you down. It happens to us all. You disappoint a friend or family member. You make a mistake that you feel is too big to overcome. You just have one of those days. And then Satan gets in your ear, telling you you’re not worthy; no one could forgive you; no one could love you.

The devil is a liar and deceiver; that’s what he does best. And if he can get us to feel unworthy, then he can keep our focus away from the Lord - the one who gives us worth, who gives us value, and who loves us as no one else can.

We have immense value because God created us in His image.

“Imago Dei” is the concept that God not only created humans but also created humans in His image. We have inherent value and worth simply because we are created in the image of God.

• Job 33:4 “The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”
• Psalm 100:3 “Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.”
• Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

God knows us and regards us as humans even in the womb.

• Psalm 139:13-16: “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
• Jeremiah 1:4-5: “The word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’”

Humans are the only creatures God made in His image.

Theologian Louis Berkhof says, “The fact that man is made in the image of God distinguishes him from the animal and every other creation.” The fact that we’re made in God’s image means we have the capacity to reflect God’s nature, and we have the abilities to reason, express free will, think rationally, and grow spiritually. When sin entered the world, humans became broken, but that did not change the fact that we’re made in God’s image. We have intrinsic value and have the capacity to grow in likeness to God through faith, service, and moral development.

Because God created humans in His image, every life is sacred, precious, and made with purpose, regardless of our abilities, disabilities, or behavior. All lives should be respected and protected.

But what happens when we “mess up”?

• Romans 3:23 states “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” At first, that verse may sound harsh. How can we live up to God’s standards? The point is we can’t. We can never be “good enough.” But His grace and mercy extend to everyone who calls on Him and believes in Him.
• I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
• Ephesians 1:-7 “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”
• Colossians 1:13-14 “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
• Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”

So the next time you’re feeling unloved and unlovable, remember the Lord who created you loves you immensely:

• He created you in His image.
• You have value and worth that no one can take away from you.
• Your value is never determined by what another person thinks.
• God loves you so much he allowed His own son to die for your sins.
• God can and will forgive you for your sins and mistakes as long as you confess and call on Him.

We all have down times, but we should not have to go through those times alone. Remember your One by One mentor is always ready to offer a listening ear, biblical counsel, prayer, support, and encouragement. Because you’re worth it.

One by One provides mentors to pregnant and new moms. Mentors provide friendship, support, encouragement, parenting education, access to resources, and the great news of God's love to moms throughout their pregnancies and their babies' early years. If you're a pregnant or new mom who would like a OBO mentor, you can apply today by clicking here.

Ana learned from her church that One by One Ministries offers a Spanish-language ministry for pregnant and new moms in her community. Stepping out in faith, she decided to volunteer as a mentor. One by One quickly matched her with her first OBO mom. Since then, she has served three moms and volunteered at a Christmas Mom Blessing Day for Hispanic moms in Dallas, TX.

In late 2024, One by One matched Ana with Fazy, a 19-year-old who had just learned she was pregnant with her first child. Fazy said, “I needed someone who could offer me encouragement so I wouldn’t feel alone in this situation.”

Fazy says Ana has been a great, positive role model. Ana has provided support and helpful parenting information that guided Fazy through her pregnancy and her child's first few months. Ana was also able to take Fazy to One by One's 2024 Christmas Mom Blessing Day in Dallas where Fazy was able to pick up gifts and needed items for her and her baby.

We are grateful for all the ways the Lord works through our OBO en Español volunteers to assist moms in the Hispanic community. We are also grateful for the churches that partner with One by One en Español by providing volunteers, financial support, and awareness so that more moms know they can request an OBO mentor for support, baby development information, parenting education, resource connections, and the love and hope found in Jesus. If you or someone you know is interested in volunteering with OBO's Spanish-language program, you can learn more by emailing Elizabeth.

Tolya-Niell was attending a game night at her church where she heard someone speak about One by One. She met OBO Memphis Director Artricia that night and loved what she heard about the organization.

At first she was a little concerned about mentoring because she does not yet have children of her own. She said, “I’ve been through a lot in my life, and I wanted to be able to help someone else – and to give insight on how my relationship with God has grown and share with others. As a teacher, I’ve worked with a lot of kids and parents. That gave me hope and insight into mentoring. I love to see people being nurtured, and I wanted to help how I can.”
First-time mom Allegra saw information about One by One and became interested in a mentor. “I wanted to have someone more sensible in my life than the people currently around me. I also realized I was trying to help other people, but I wasn’t getting what I needed in my life. I needed someone to pour into me.”

One by One matched Tolya-Niell and Allegra as part of our virtual program.

Tolya-Niell says she and Allegra had a great connection from the beginning. “I could relate to and understand some of the things she was dealing with. She had a lot of big changes happening – having a baby, getting married. And I could tell we were meant to connect. It was God’s will and timing.”

Allegra agrees, saying the two of them “mesh really well. She listens, and she has been very encouraging. She’s doing all she can with school and her job and her family. And she’s not just telling me things I should do; she’s living it. A lot of people try to give you advice but aren’t living it. She’s doing it.”

Allegra adds, “It’s great to have my voice heard about the things I’m going through as a new mom. But Tolya-Niell keeps me on track. I was worrying too much about going back to work, getting back into the swing of things after having my son, dealing with life and all the people in my life. Life is not going to stop because you have a child – and you worry about this new little person who’s totally dependent on you plus your job plus your life. She’ll say, ‘I hear you, I got you. Let’s talk about your son and his development.’”

Tolya-Niell and Allegra both enjoy being part of One by One’s virtual program. Allegra says the virtual program works really well with her schedule. “You can’t always be every place you need to be every time. Meeting virtually really works better- everybody uses their [sic] phone anyway so it works perfectly. Tolya-Niell agrees and adds, “Allegra sends pictures and videos of her son’s development – rolling over, walking – and it’s great.”

“It’s sometimes hard to keep her from feeling overwhelmed with all of the material, so I try to keep it brief and let the Holy Spirit lead on best points to emphasize,” Tolya-Niell says, noting that she tries to be flexible during their mentoring visits. “Her son is meeting his milestones, and I try to give her interactive activities for him so she doesn’t have to rely on videos; she likes that.” She adds that the activities can help keep Allegra’s son busy during their meetings, which helps to keep the conversation open – especially when it comes to sensitive topics and personal issues.

“At the end of the day, it’s about encouragement,” Tolya-Niell says. Her advice to women considering mentoring: first, make sure you have a solid walk with God. “You can’t play with that.” Then, get yourself a mentor – a friend or a church member – who can help you with your growth and hold you accountable. Make sure you can do what you say you’re going to do. Be consistent. If you need help, don’t be hesitant to ask.”

And Allegra has advice to new moms considering requesting a One by One mentor: Go ahead and do it. It’s beneficial. It’s a great pick-me-up. The packages* will put a smile on your face. I never realized something so small could make me so happy! And it’s so great having someone to talk to about your problems and your fears.”

*Moms in One by One’s virtual program receive quarterly “blessing boxes” with parenting tips and curriculum for the quarter plus small gifts for mom and baby. If you or someone you know is pregnant or a new mom, you can request a mentor by clicking here.

Job Hunting for Moms in the Digital Age

Job hunting can be tough. One by One mom Colby Fleming shared the following tips to help moms as they seek employment. As with many things in life, Colby says preparation is key to success. Keep reading for some great tips to help find the job for you!

Define your career goals.
Make a list of what you ideally want in a job. Are you looking for full or part-time work? In an office or in your home? If you’re unsure of your goals, consider taking a personality test such as Myers-Briggs to help you determine the type of career you could be best suited for.

Conduct a skills assessment.
What skills do you currently have? How can they be used in different jobs? Think about soft skills such as your ability to write, problem solve, be creative, etc., as well as hard skills such as experience with certain software programs or industry certifications.

Now you’re ready to begin a targeted job search looking for opportunities to combine your goals with your skills.

Draft a resume.
Customize your resume for every job. Highlight achievements, and, when possible, put numbers to achievements. (I implemented a plan to save $X; or I developed a program that increased revenue by $X, etc.) Use clear formatting: avoid lines, columns, and page breaks that bots can interpret as the end of a page. Run your resume through an online scan tool such as Jobscan to ensure the wording on your resume matches the job description. Save each customized resume with the company name in the file name.

Create a professional online presence.
A strong online presence is a must in today’s job market. LinkedIn is a great platform to showcase your skills and connect with industry professionals. Platforms, such as X and Facebook offer opportunities for networking and professional growth. Engage with industry-related content, join industry groups, engage with people in your industry, attend virtual job fairs and webinars, and network with recruiters in your area.

Begin your job search.
Use websites like LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, and ZipRecruiter to help identify job opportunities. These sites will allow you to upload a generic resume and set up job alerts to assist in your search. Also visit the career or job opportunities pages of companies you’re interested in working for. Read the company’s news, and reach out to people currently working at those companies. Be willing to ask for help in your search: people are often happy to refer good candidates. Use referrals from your network to improve your chances of finding a job through mutual connections. Visit these websites often to check for new postings and updates.

Apply online.
When you are ready to apply for a position, use key words from the job description to tailor your resume. Run your resume through an AI platform such as Jobscan, and look for at least a 75-80% match between your resume and the job description. Apply early to get an edge over other applicants.

Submit a cover letter.
Submit a cover letter if you have that option. Address the letter to the hiring manager by name if you can find it. Personalize the letter. Show genuine enthusiasm for the job while demonstrating how your skills can support the company’s needs. If you can find the hiring manager’s information, email him or her to express interest in the job and your desire for an interview while showing how your skills match the job requirements.

Create a job application tracker.
Create a spreadsheet to track the information for all the jobs you apply for: company name, job title, contact name, salary information, application date, interview date, needed follow-up, results. This spreadsheet will help you track your progress and maintain communication with a company without being intrusive.

Prepare for a virtual job interview.
Test your technology before your interview. Make sure your camera and microphone work, you have a strong internet connection, you have good lighting, and you have a professional background. Dress professionally. Do your research on the company, and be prepared with questions. Speak precisely and professionally. Maintain eye contact with the camera, and maintain good body language. Send a thank you note after the interview expressing your appreciation of the hiring manager’s time and consideration as well as reiterating your enthusiasm and skills for the job.

Evaluate the job offer.
If you are offered a job, get the offer in writing. Consider the job, salary, and benefits in addition to the company culture. Be willing to negotiate the terms of the offer (you get what you accept.) Decide if you will accept or continue searching.

One by One wants new moms to be the best moms they can be - and that includes being great providers for their families. In addition to providing friendship, support, and parenting education, our mentors connect moms to resources to help them as they look to continue their education, seek job opportunities, and more. If you are a pregnant or new mom who would like a OBO mentor, you can apply here today.

July is Prayer Month

Although One by One can serve moms across all 50 US states, we have our home office in Memphis, Tennessee.  We’re thrilled that the state of Tennessee has designated the month of July as a time of prayer and fasting. One by One firmly believes in the power of prayer; we seek God’s counsel and mercy on a daily basis and witness His hand on our ministry, our volunteers, and the moms we serve. Regardless of where you live, we invite you to join with us in prayer for our ministry, our state, and our nation.

Tennessee’s Resolution 803 suggests prayer for the following:

• God’s mercy and continued blessings
• Our recognition of our sins and shortcomings
• God’s healing on our land –specifically removal of violence, human trafficking, addiction, and corruption
• The Holy Spirit’s presence in our government, schools, businesses, churches, and homes bringing peace, love, and joy

Can you imagine the results if we all came together to pray for these things, regardless of where we live? What a wonderful thing for our world!

Will you join with us as we intercede on behalf not only of our state and country but also of our moms, our volunteers, and our ministry?

If you’re new to prayer, let us assure you that you don’t have to offer complicated, poetic, or elaborate prayers. Just have a conversation with God and trust that He wants to be in communication with you. In fact, Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:5-8 not to pray to impress others:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”

Jesus also gives us a model to follow in what is known as the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13:

“This, then, is ow you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed by your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’”

Jesus doesn’t want us to give a rote recitation of this prayer; instead, He wants us to use this as a framework for how we should pray.

• Recognize God is our Father, our Creator, who is in heaven and is worthy to be praised. Spend time worshipping Him.
• Pray for God’s will to be done – for our country, our communities, our families, our churches, our neighbors and friends. This can sometimes be hard because it requires us to put God’s agenda before our own.
• Present your needs and requests to the Lord. We should ask God for the things we need regardless of how insignificant we may think they are. We should ask for both physical and spiritual needs – and thank Him for all He has provided for us.
• Ask for forgiveness of your sins and for help in forgiving people who have sinned against us. This is a vital step in making sure nothing is impeding our relationship with God.
• Pray for safety, protection, and deliverance and to be led by the Spirit.

If you’re still not sure what to say or how to say it, be honest with God (He knows the truth anyway!). Romans 8:26-27 says “In the same way, the (Holy) Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

When you’re insecure or grieving or just out of words, the Holy Spirit is there to help you as you pray. How reassuring!

Now, what’s stopping you from joining us in prayer?

One by One starts every week in prayer for our ministry, our moms, and our volunteers. We publish a monthly prayer e-newsletter with specific prayer requests and praises as we ask for intercession and thank God for His many provisions. You can access our prayer e-newsletter here or email ccurry@onebyoneusa.org to receive this email in your inbox monthly.

If you're a pregnant or new mom who would like the support of a One by One mentor, you can apply for a mentor today by clicking here.

Today is the third anniversary of the Dobbs decision which effectively overturned Roe v. Wade, sending the issue of abortion back to the states. At One by One, we celebrate this anniversary because we believe firmly in the sanctity of human life, but we also recognize that women facing unplanned pregnancies are often alone, scared, and unsure what to do next.

Our message to any woman who is worried about a pregnancy is simple: you do not have to go through this alone. One by One mentors are available to walk with you in this new chapter of life – not only through your pregnancy but also through your child’s early years.

Keep reading to see why we believe every life is valuable and how we support new moms.

Why We Stand for Life
What does it mean to believe in the “sanctity of human life”? This idea is rooted in the concept of “Imago Dei” – that God created humans and that he created us in His image.

• Job 33:4: “The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”
• Psalm 100:3: “Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.”
• Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He crated him; male and female He created them.”

We also believe God knows us and regards us as humans even in the womb.

• Psalm 139:13-16: “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
• Jeremiah 1:4-5: “The word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’”

Humans are the only creatures God made in His image, and, as theologian Louis Berkhof says, “The fact that man is made in the image of God distinguishes him from the animal and every other creation.”

The fact that we’re made in God’s image means we have the capacity to reflect God’s nature, and we have the abilities to reason, express free will, think rationally, and grow spiritually. When sin entered the world, humans became broken, but that did not change the fact that we are made in God’s image. We still have intrinsic value and have the capacity to grow in likeness to God through faith, service, and moral development.

Because we believe God created humans in His image, we believe every life is sacred, precious, and made with purpose, regardless of our abilities, disabilities, or behavior. All lives should be respected and protected.

Proverbs 31:8 reminds us, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” There is no more vulnerable population than unborn children. One by One will continue to advocate for their rights as we support the moms who choose life for their babies so that they can parent well.

How One by One Helps
One by One provides trained mentors to walk alongside pregnant and new moms. Each mom and mentor talk every week and meet every month throughout the mom’s pregnancy and her child’s early years. Yes, we encourage moms who are abortion vulnerable to choose life. But our support does not stop when a baby is born. Our mentors are committed to developing long-lasting relationships with the moms they serve. Our mentors:

• are great listeners. They listen to your concerns and fears, offer nonjudgmental friendship and support, and provide insight when asked.
• teach you how to care for your baby. Taking care of newborn can be intimidating. Our mentors can teach you about baby health, safety, and wellness.
• help you support your baby’s growth and development. The first three years of a baby’s life are the most important in terms of brain development. Our mentors share activities you can do with your baby to support his or her language, emotional, social, and motor skill development.
• assist you in accessing additional resources you may need. Our mentors can help you find resources for housing, food, transportation, child care, education, job readiness programs, etc.
• share how much God loves you and your baby. Our mentors also want you to know how much God loves you and your baby, that He has a plan for your lives, and that He wants to be in relationship with you.

One by One proudly serves any mom looking for support regardless of marital status, number of children she has, socioeconomic status, or age (we do require parental consent to serve minors). If you or someone you know could benefit from having a mentor, please apply at www.onebyoneformoms.org or call us at 833.777.1153.

If you are a Christian woman looking for ways to support moms who choose life, we’d love to talk to you about becoming a mentor. We provide free training and give you all the materials you need to serve your mom. We need English and Spanish-speaking women willing to serve as in-person or virtual mentors. Worried you’re not qualified? Remember God qualifies the called! If you love the Lord, can be a friend, and can show up when you say you will, you have what it takes to be a OBO mentor. Apply today at www.onebyoneusa.org/mentor or call us at 833.777.1153.

“I’ve always been pro-life,” Beth says. “After my kids grew up, I wanted to do something hands on to support moms who choose life.” So Beth reached out to One by One about mentoring a mom who had chosen life for her baby.

One by One matched Beth with Stephanie who was looking for a mentor because “I didn’t know what I was doing.” Stephanie says, “I was scared. I couldn’t get in contact with my baby’s daddy. Beth helped me stay calm by giving me advice I was looking for.”

Beth was concerned about their age difference, but, despite the gap, she and Stephanie formed a close friendship. “Our relationship has been great from the moment we first met. She was supportive of being involved with me. I’m older than her own mom, so I was surprised to see she embraced me so readily! We got together all the time. We’ve wanted to spend time together. Stephanie is very interested in learning how to be a good mom. It’s been wonderful to spend time with her.”

Stephanie adds that Beth has helped her with spiritual questions as well as with parenting questions. “She’s a spiritual mother and best friend. I needed that friendship with her. I kind of felt lost, but being with her took the chip off my shoulder. I really appreciated that. I check on her now because I look at her like a godmother to my child. She taught me a lot.”

Beth also helped Stephanie through a string of challenging obstacles. Her house was broken into and then burned, and she ended up staying in a hotel for a long period. Stephanie says she went to church with Beth a couple of times and it really opened her eyes. The church was also there to help her when her house burned by donating clothing and providing support.
Beth adds, “It’s easy to encourage Stephanie because she never quits. She really has perseverance, and she never lost hope. I was able to encourage her that God is with her and that He will strengthen her. I reminded her that we don’t always know why these difficult things happen, but Jesus has been through it all, and He will be with us as well through thick and thin.”

Stephanie absorbed the lesson and was able to support and encourage Beth when she went through a difficult loss during their time together.

Beth adds, “The Lord has affirmed again that if he calls you to something, He’s going to equip you and work it out and that it’s going to be a blessing. In watching Stephanie go through a very difficult time, I just have so much encouragement in watching these brave women, and it’s made me have a lot of empathy and compassion for things these brave women go through that I personally haven’t had to deal with. The Lord blesses all of us in different ways, and He’s certainly blessed me in the relationship I have with Stephanie even across age and cultural barriers – I feel we’re knit at the heart.”

At One by One, we support pregnant and new moms by pairing them with mentors to help them learn to parent well. Our mentors provide friendship, support, parenting education, baby milestone information, and lessons on how moms can support their children’s development. If you are a pregnant or new mom looking for guidance, you can apply for a mentor here. We’re always looking for women to volunteer as mentors. If you are interested, you can learn more here. We train you and give you everything you need to support a mom.

When Dusty moved to Memphis for a new job, she didn’t know anyone in town. She was a nurse, married, mom to three – and excited to be pregnant again at age 42. But she didn’t know any local OB/GYNs or have a real support system in town. One of her clients was a One by One mom who suggested Dusty give us a call.

Robin was an empty-nester who loved being a mom and was looking for ways to help others. She heard about One by One and loved the idea of a program that supported moms in both spiritual and practical ways.  

Although Robin was excited to mentor, she was a little nervous.  “There were, admittedly, some nerves about advising a young mom about things that I haven’t done for quite a while. Fortunately, One by One’s training program is very clear and informative. My trainer found the perfect balance of presenting things with great clarity and the sweetest spirit.”

Dusty and her husband were excited about baby number four, but, she says, “as a nurse, I was the one who was always giving support. This time, I didn’t know any doctors in town. I didn’t have a support system, and I needed someone I could go to, so I called One by One. This program was definitely what I needed.”

Robin and Dusty have been together a little more than two years, and their relationship is thriving.

At first, though, Robin wasn’t sure what she could offer Dusty. “She’s married, has three older children, is a believer, and is a nurse! I didn’t really know what I had to offer her. But Dusty knew there were things she wanted to do differently as a mom with this baby, and she wisely sought counsel. Being relatively new in town, she also needed a friend. While Dusty has loved the materials and other support that One by One has been able to provide, I would say that praying for her and with her is possibly our most valuable connection.”

Dusty adds, “I really didn’t need the program to learn how to take care of my baby, but the handouts were helpful even though I knew most of the information.” But she did need assistance in other ways. Dusty and her husband decided she would quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom to baby Shiloh. Then, shortly after leaving her job, her husband unexpectedly lost his. They found themselves struggling financially and with past due bills for the first time in their lives. Robin helped Dusty apply for assistance to help get through this period. Dusty also says One by One’s support helped tremendously. “The diapers I got each time Robin and I met – the items I picked up at the blessing days – helped more than I expected. The baby clothes and the gift cards were so helpful. There was so much help from One by One, and that made a huge difference.”

Robin has loved being a mentor for Dusty. She says, “Shiloh is an absolute joy and perfect in every way. I’ve loved being a part of his life for these two years and pray our relationship will continue. I really enjoy these times when I feel like I can relieve some of the burden from Dusty through the One by One support system, prayers, or just a fun lunch sharing and laughing together.”

Dusty adds, “I couldn’t ask for a better mentor. Robin has been perfect for me. She’s consistent, kind, compassionate, an amazing listener, and an even better prayer warrior. She contacts me often asking for my prayer requests. I never doubted that she would show up. She’s given me exactly what I needed to help me thrive. I can imagine we’ll be friends forever.”

When asked for a favorite story of their time in our program, Robin and Dusty both shared the same story of provision. Shiloh had an undetected milk allergy and was really fussy at times. Dusty noticed there was a swing in her church’s nursery that seemed to soothe Shiloh. Dusty looked into buying this swing, but it was expensive, and she was hesitant to spend the money. She prayed about it and felt God told her to wait. The next week, she attended One by One’s Mom Blessing Day, and the same swing was there. Dusty was able to take it home for Shiloh. Robin says, “This is such a sweet testimony of prayer, trusting in God’s provision, appreciation for the goodness of strangers, and validation of the work One by One provides.”

Dusty is already planning to pay it forward. She has clothes and baby items ready to donate to One by One so other moms can have the help she did. She also plans to become a mentor in the future. She’s encouraging friends of hers to become mentors. She adds, “It’s such a great program – there’s nothing better.”

We’ve all heard of challenges that come with being a mom. But we don’t often think how isolating it can be for a new mom who is in a new city with no friends or family nearby to provide help or support. That’s what happened to Kathryn – and a chance encounter led her to One by One.

“I heard about One by One at a resource fair with Viola’s House almost three years ago. I had just had my first son; we were new to the city, and I was a first-time mom with no family or friends,” Kathryn shared. “As a social person, I felt so isolated and had a difficult time meeting other moms and connecting. I wanted a mentor because I was feeling baby blues. I wanted my (older) child to make friends with other kids, and I wanted to have mom friends I could lean on when times were tough and to celebrate with.”

Kayla also had a chance encounter with One by One. “I was instructing at an art event when I met someone from One by One. We began talking about parenting and how passionate I was about postpartum mothers. It was a right time, right place situation. That conversation introduced me to OBO,” Kayla recounts. “I decided to become a mentor because I have a passion for mothers in the trenches of motherhood. Being a mom myself, I experienced the feelings of isolation, and I never wanted someone else to feel like that. I lead a moms’ group through my church, but I felt I could make an even bigger impact mentoring with One by One.”

One by One originally matched Kathryn with another mentor before matching her with Kayla. “I loved my first mentor. She was a genuinely kind person and had so much to offer. Our schedules just didn’t match, and I wanted a little more socialization. I was nervous to talk to One by One about that, but I’m so glad I did. After I had my second son, they matched me with Kayla, and we connected immediately. We had a lot in common. We both had a son around the same age. When we met, we literally talked for hours,” Kathryn said.

Kathryn and Kayla have been together for more than a year now. It can still be challenging to meet at times, but they have found ways to make it work, including talking more on the phone, attending moms’ group meetings together, and texting in addition to meeting in person. They have become good friends, and Kayla has also introduced Kathryn to other moms. “I have helped her feel seen. I’ve prayed for her in motherhood and other life experiences. I’ve been there for the big events like birthdays and celebrations, and I’ve introduced her to other moms as she’s joined my moms’ group. Fitting into everyday life has been our best way to connect – I believe she would agree!”

Kathryn says Kayla has helped her so much, especially with strengthening her network of support. “I really needed that after having my second son,” she adds. “Kayla is an amazing mother and leader in her church community. I feel so blessed to have her in my circle.”

Kayla encourages women to consider becoming a One by One mentor. “I love the connection Kathryn and I have made. She knows she has a friend who is cheering her on and helping her in any way I can. She’s a delight to be around. She’s a wonderful mom, wife, and friend. We are more than just mentor and mentee; we are truly friends, and I look forward to more memories made with her and her sweet family.”

Kayla adds, “I think any time you’re trying to make a difference, your goal is to make an impact in someone else’s life. The sweetest thing is that, of course, but it’s a bonus when it pulls at your heart strings as well! Making a difference in one person’s life is making a difference. Showing up, offering prayer, encouraging one person makes a big impact.”

Kathryn also encourages women to consider mentoring with One by One. “If it is in your heart, please do it! You can change someone’s quality of life just by being a smiling face and godly reminder that we are not alone.”