She Keeps Me on Track

Tolya-Niell was attending a game night at her church where she heard someone speak about One by One. She met OBO Memphis Director Artricia that night and loved what she heard about the organization.

At first she was a little concerned about mentoring because she does not yet have children of her own. She said, “I’ve been through a lot in my life, and I wanted to be able to help someone else – and to give insight on how my relationship with God has grown and share with others. As a teacher, I’ve worked with a lot of kids and parents. That gave me hope and insight into mentoring. I love to see people being nurtured, and I wanted to help how I can.”
First-time mom Allegra saw information about One by One and became interested in a mentor. “I wanted to have someone more sensible in my life than the people currently around me. I also realized I was trying to help other people, but I wasn’t getting what I needed in my life. I needed someone to pour into me.”

One by One matched Tolya-Niell and Allegra as part of our virtual program.

Tolya-Niell says she and Allegra had a great connection from the beginning. “I could relate to and understand some of the things she was dealing with. She had a lot of big changes happening – having a baby, getting married. And I could tell we were meant to connect. It was God’s will and timing.”

Allegra agrees, saying the two of them “mesh really well. She listens, and she has been very encouraging. She’s doing all she can with school and her job and her family. And she’s not just telling me things I should do; she’s living it. A lot of people try to give you advice but aren’t living it. She’s doing it.”

Allegra adds, “It’s great to have my voice heard about the things I’m going through as a new mom. But Tolya-Niell keeps me on track. I was worrying too much about going back to work, getting back into the swing of things after having my son, dealing with life and all the people in my life. Life is not going to stop because you have a child – and you worry about this new little person who’s totally dependent on you plus your job plus your life. She’ll say, ‘I hear you, I got you. Let’s talk about your son and his development.’”

Tolya-Niell and Allegra both enjoy being part of One by One’s virtual program. Allegra says the virtual program works really well with her schedule. “You can’t always be every place you need to be every time. Meeting virtually really works better- everybody uses their [sic] phone anyway so it works perfectly. Tolya-Niell agrees and adds, “Allegra sends pictures and videos of her son’s development – rolling over, walking – and it’s great.”

“It’s sometimes hard to keep her from feeling overwhelmed with all of the material, so I try to keep it brief and let the Holy Spirit lead on best points to emphasize,” Tolya-Niell says, noting that she tries to be flexible during their mentoring visits. “Her son is meeting his milestones, and I try to give her interactive activities for him so she doesn’t have to rely on videos; she likes that.” She adds that the activities can help keep Allegra’s son busy during their meetings, which helps to keep the conversation open – especially when it comes to sensitive topics and personal issues.

“At the end of the day, it’s about encouragement,” Tolya-Niell says. Her advice to women considering mentoring: first, make sure you have a solid walk with God. “You can’t play with that.” Then, get yourself a mentor – a friend or a church member – who can help you with your growth and hold you accountable. Make sure you can do what you say you’re going to do. Be consistent. If you need help, don’t be hesitant to ask.”

And Allegra has advice to new moms considering requesting a One by One mentor: Go ahead and do it. It’s beneficial. It’s a great pick-me-up. The packages* will put a smile on your face. I never realized something so small could make me so happy! And it’s so great having someone to talk to about your problems and your fears.”

*Moms in One by One’s virtual program receive quarterly “blessing boxes” with parenting tips and curriculum for the quarter plus small gifts for mom and baby. If you or someone you know is pregnant or a new mom, you can request a mentor by clicking here.