Growing in Marriage as a Christian Mother

We’ve heard it said that after kids, marriage is never the same. This is entirely true; however, this does not mean that marriage becomes bleak once kids are in the picture. 
 
Over time many couples, they begin to feel more like roommates than husband and wife, especially when their lives revolve around the kids. 
 
As a mother, you devote an incredible amount of time to your kids, and rightly so because they need you. They rely on you as their caregiver. But too often women get so wrapped up in being moms that they forget they are wives as well. 
 
Connecting with your husband and growing in your marriage is are not meant to stop after a baby comes; in fact, your relationship can deepen. But it takes some work. If you’re struggling to connect with your husband, we have some suggestions for how to refine and rejuvenate your marriage!

1.  Make Your Husband a Priority
When we you become a mother, everything suddenly becomes about your baby. We get so absorbed in our role as the caregiver that our husbands often get pushed aside and time alone with them disappears.
 
Our children do need us. We can’t neglect our kids or their needs. However, they can’t be our top priority every moment of the day.
 
Remember: you are a wife first. 
 
Everything you do flows from your marriage because you and your husband are one. You are not one with your kids. Does that mean they are unimportant? Of course not. But when we neglect our role as wives and throw ourselves solely into motherhood, the balance is thrown off. 
 
God designed family beginning with a husband and wife—not with a mother and child. 
 
Prioritizing time with your husband glorifies God, and aligns your home with the Father’s vision for family.

2.  Spend Quality Time Together
After having kids, one thing that many husbands and wives neglect is spending alone time together. 
 
For many, the excuse is, “We don’t have time.”
 
But I we can’t stress how important it is to make time for each other. Just like any other relationship, it won’t grow and progress if you don’t spend quality time together.
 
If you struggle to find enough time throughout the week to spend quality time together, pray with your husband and ask the Lord to help you prioritize your marriage. 
 
You don’t have to take a vacation together. Just have a date night every once in a while. Watch a movie together, go for a walk together, run errands together, or do something fun that you both enjoy. 
 
Quality over quantity. That’s the key.

3. Flirting Isn’t Just for Dating
One way to keep things exciting in your marriage is…surprise! Flirting! 
 
It may sound strange to some but flirting with your husband is a fun and simple way to keep the romance alive and stir up that excitement you had when you were dating. 
 
Flirting should be fun! And you want to know something really sweet? It never has to stop!

4. Pray for Him
We forget how special it is to pray for our husbands. Think about this: no one can pray for your husband the way you can. You are the only one who is joined with him. 
 
He doesn’t have the same bond with anyone else as he has with you. So, if you’re not praying for your husband, who is? Who else can pray for him the way you can? 
 
Marriage is a beautiful unity, and by praying for your husband, you continuously invite the Lord to be at the center of your marriage. 
 
Marriage Does Not Compete with Motherhood
 
If you feel like you’re giving all your time and energy is being given to your kids and there’s nothing left over for your husband, remember that marriage and motherhood are not in a competition. The two are meant to complement one another.
 
Your kids need to see that spending time with your husband is important to you. They need to see that you love him, respect him, and make him a priority. 
 
So, don’t neglect your husband by giving all you have to your kids. You are a wife, then a mother. Everything you do overflows from your marriage.
 
Connect with One by One Ministries
It’s so important to have a good community in your life, and that’s what One by One Ministries is all about. We believe that mothers need friends surrounding them to help encourage and strengthen them in everyday life. 
 
One by One Ministries offers mentorship programs for mothers as well as other opportunities for women to grow spiritually and be involved with our community. 
 
Click here to learn more about us!