I Was So Lonely

Samyah heard about One by One from her therapist. “I was afraid I wouldn’t bond with my baby or I wouldn’t understand my baby. I was really young, and this was an accidental pregnancy. I wanted someone who could answer my questions, help me know what was coming next and what was normal. And I really wanted a friend. I was so lonely at the time.”

One by One matched Samyah with Heather – a new mentor. When Marion (Memphis Director at the time) called Heather, she explained this would be an unconventional match: Samyah had just had her baby, and there was a chance she would be moving as her now husband was in the Army. Heather said this opportunity was “fantastic”: “My parents were missionaries, so I knew all about moving a lot. I was so excited to help someone walk through a transition because so many others had done that for me. I had experiences I thought could help.”

Samyah and her now husband were just out of high school when she found out she was pregnant. He had joined the Army, and they got married when he was home on leave when their baby was just a few months old. Heather says, “You could tell their commitment was real. They’re definitely taking charge of their lives and being so responsible with the baby.”

Heather says her relationship with Samyah grew quickly and easily. “I can tell she wants relationship and input. She doesn’t always wait for me to call to check in. She messages me when she has questions. She’s receptive to help and guidance, and I’ve been able to weave in bits of my testimony and walk with the Lord.”

Samyah says, “She’s definitely been the guiding friend I needed. The first time we met, the conversation was so natural. I remember I was afraid to breastfeed in public, but with her recommendations and reassurance I’m so comfortable with breastfeeding now. Even now if she doesn’t really have the answer to something, it’s nice to just talk about it with someone else who knows what it’s like.” (Heather remembers this conversation because she remembers how hard it was to become comfortable breastfeeding in public. She says, “I told her using a blanket or cloth would be a game-changer!”)

Heather says Samyah has had great family support. “It’s so good to see how much she and her husband love their baby. Before he was home, she lived with her family but wasn’t asking them for help. You could tell they supported her – her granddad sometimes drove her to our meetings and waited until we were done – but she didn’t want to be a burden to them by asking for help when they got off work. I had to explain they would probably love to hold that baby while she showered and that they would tell her if it were a bad time.”

It wasn’t long before Samyah found out she and her husband would be moving to Kentucky with his next military post. Heather says, “I knew I couldn’t give her money – I appreciate all the boundaries OBO provides – but I didn’t realize I could ask my church to help.” On the suggestion of her church coordinator, Heather reached out to members of Broadway Baptist to help provide Samyah and her husband with some specific needs – such as gift cards and cleaning supplies – to help with their move. And they came through big. Someone in Heather’s Sunday school class had a child who had just outgrown a crib, so she donated the crib. A member of Heather’s prayer partner’s class was remodeling her kitchen and donated dishes and other kitchen items. Another member of the church had just moved from the community in Kentucky where Samyah and her husband were moving to, and she offered to connect them to ministry friends once they got settled. In all, Heather and her husband delivered two car loads of items to Samyah and her husband!

Heather says this was the first time some members of her church heard of a specific need they could help with and they responded so generously. “It was a blessing to see people ready and partnering with the Gospel! Sometimes needs can be so overwhelming. God calls people to certain things. When you can’t go in one direction – like mentoring – you can provide in other ways. The enemy wants us to be overwhelmed with how many needs there are, but we can’t live in that. We can get stuck there – I can’t do it because there’s too much and what can one person do? But one plus one is not addition – it’s multiplication because you’re helping a mom and her baby and their whole sphere of influence – you never know where it’s going to end.”

Samyah says, “I honestly don’t know what I was expecting from One by One, but it’s exceeded it. I was really expecting something like, ‘Hi, how’s it going? I brought you some diapers.’ I wasn’t expecting anything personal – just some help. But it’s so much more than help. Everyone feels comfortable to talk to. It does’t feel like a business. People remember things – little details I don’t even remember saying. It’s so personal. I still can’t believe the help with the move. I can’t thank everyone enough for the help we got with that. It was amazing. I think OBO is awesome.”

Heather said she and Samyah had planned to keep in touch after the move, so when Heather found out about our virtual program, she said “let’s just keep going.” As it turns out, a virtual mentoring schedule works out better for both women. Heather says, “It’s so good to see how the Lord goes before you.” Heather is excited to continue mentoring Samyah and believes this opportunity will give her more time to share her testimony with Samyah. “Because her baby was born before we began meeting, we haven’t had a lot of time to develop a relationship where I can introduce the Gospel naturally. I’ve been sharing about how God works in my life, and Samyah was able to see the love from the members at Broadway, and I’m praying to know when to talk to her about the Gospel.”

Meanwhile Samyah is also looking forward to continuing to meet with Heather. “I’d like to call us friends, because it really feels like a friendship. I’m looking forward to how easy it will be to schedule a video meeting. I’m sad I can’t attend events One by One lets me know about. And I’m sad if/when I have another child I won’t have in-person support, but by then hopefully I won’t need the support. I hope to be the supporter for someone else.”